you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
