No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
