She's JV to your varsity
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
do nipples grow back?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
