arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
