The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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