Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we have pet lesbian snakes
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
