he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Holy sore nipples Batman
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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