their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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