great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
