Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
