Me too!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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