My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
