my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
