i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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