She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want to make out with him forever
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
