i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
