she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
