Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
