He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
