belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
