glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
