You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
