I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
