I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
