Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
