Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
