didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
