I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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