We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
