So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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