I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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