on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
