dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
