This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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