I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
