I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
