my vag is so smooth its legendary
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
