i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
