So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
