My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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