Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
