somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
