Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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