Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
