I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
