Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
