May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Randomize
