Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
