He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
