2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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