You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
